“I just want to help”. “Why don’t you let me help you?” “I know how you feel, let me help”. Have you ever said or felt these things? I know I have. But I’ve come to learn that we must be very careful when it comes to this. Codependency is not listed in the DSM (Diagnostic, and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as a personality disorder yet, but most mental health workers can and do recognize it as a symptom of dysfunction.

I believe the only reason codependency is not listed in the DSM is because so many psychologist, therapists and counselors today are either codependents or recovering codependents; how can someone love too much? And what kind of slippery slope are we treading on when we say that caring for another human being is a mental disorder?

The fact is codependency is just that – CO. It is not the same as Dependent personality disorder, which is listed in the DSM. It takes two people to make up codependency. It’s not a sin to care for someone, but it’s not all that healthy to think that we have all the answers for another. If we have a tendency to say or feel, “I told you so”, or “Why won’t he/she listen to me?” then perhaps we are beating a dead horse. The best way to truly care for someone is to help them help themselves.

Remember, “Give a man a fish; you’ve fed him for a day. Give the man the insight to go to the market and you’ve fed him for life” (something like that).

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard