Do you open the door for her? Do you bring her flowers “just because you love her”? If another man whistles at her or yells his ‘cat calls’, do you have words with him? Do you defend her? And here’s an important question; does she allow you to do these things?

I’m going to step out on the ledge today – I believe the Feminist Movement of the 70’s has ultimately killed femininity. Where have all the ladies gone? In the process, this has caused men to be confused, lost or just plain stupid. Now of course this is not an issue across the board, there are still girly girls out there, and there certainly are manly men, but both are a dying breed.

Then we wonder why our relationships don’t work. There is an old comedy stereotype, that the first cavemen would pick his bride by knocking her out his club. That’s because men think in a very serial way. Since the seventies men have had to alter their thinking. They've had to start thinking like a woman, and many just cannot deal with that very well. If you think that men and women are equal in all things, I encourage you to think again. I’m not saying that women are not as valuable as men, because they are; sometimes even more valuable. I’m not saying women should not be respected, because I my opinion, women are the source of honor in men and men should show that to women.

Ladies and gentlemen – the time has come to get back in touch with your authentic gender. Be the man. Be the woman – guys go dust off your club; you’ve not used it correctly in a long time.

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard

When was the last time the ugly green-eyed monster visited you? Jealousy is the last thing that I would wish on anyone; neither feeling jealous of someone else or having someone jealous of you. Jealousy is a negative energy that serves no one at all.

I’ve often heard it said that jealousy is the result of an incomplete love. In some cases this is true – those times in our romantic relationships where we distrust our partner and get jealous – this is an incomplete love. Jealousy however, has more causes than this sadly. Jealousy springs forth most commonly from a feeling of inferiority or ultimately a lack of self esteem, desire. Jealousy is nothing more than a projection of our fears. Someone is prettier, more intelligent, richer, faster, or luckier. Someone always has more – the grass is greener on the other side.

Well guess what. There will ALWAYS be people who are smarter, prettier, faster, luckier etc., so you have two choices; learn to deal with it (accept it) or learn how to kill yourself slowly with jealousy. There is a very physical impact of jealousy depending on how angry we get. When we are angry our body suppresses a chemical called Immunoglobulin-A, essential to a healthy immune system. (Shealy and Church, Soul Medicine 95-6)

The real hurt however is to the person who is the target of jealousy – especially if they are innocent. They did nothing to harm; they are merely being themselves. Our jealousy perverts reality and truth in everything around us and the target of our jealous behavior. The target of our jealousy then is forced to live in an altered reality and truth, forced to make wrong choices – not the best karma for those feeling jealous, to be certain.

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard

When was the last time the ugly green-eyed monster visited you? Jealousy is the last thing that I would wish on anyone; neither feeling jealous of someone else or having someone jealous of you. Jealousy is a negative energy that serves no one at all.

I’ve often heard it said that jealousy is the result of an incomplete love. In some cases this is true – those times in our romantic relationships where we distrust our partner and get jealous – this is an incomplete love. Jealousy however, has more causes than this sadly. Jealousy springs forth most commonly from a feeling of inferiority or ultimately a lack of self esteem, desire. Jealousy is nothing more than a projection of our fears. Someone is prettier, more intelligent, richer, faster, or luckier. Someone always has more – the grass is greener on the other side.

Well guess what. There will ALWAYS be people who are smarter, prettier, faster, luckier etc., so you have two choices; learn to deal with it (accept it) or learn how to kill yourself slowly with jealousy. There is a very physical impact of jealousy depending on how angry we get. When we are angry our body suppresses a chemical called Immunoglobulin-A, essential to a healthy immune system. (Shealy and Church, Soul Medicine 95-6)

The real hurt however is to the person who is the target of jealousy – especially if they are innocent. They did nothing to harm; they are merely being themselves. Our jealousy perverts reality and truth in everything around us and the target of our jealous behavior. The target of our jealousy then is forced to live in an altered reality and truth, forced to make wrong choices – not the best karma for those feeling jealous, to be certain.

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard

Have you ever wondered what really PO’s your teen? It’s kind of hard to find out because so often they simply shut down around us (mom and dad) and don’t really tell us anything, or on the other side of the spectrum, a flood of a story comes pouring out among tears and sobs, and we sometimes find ourselves wishing for the silent treatment again.

Well, I took a survey of 100 teens a year or so ago, and I was perhaps just a little surprised to find that our teens get PO’d at exactly the same thing we do! Here’s a list of the top 10 items.

1. People that lie and are two faced
2. Being labeled
3. When people don’t listen
4. People that are fake
5. Parents that pry into my life
6. Nagging
7. People pushing my buttons causing a fight
8. Teachers that pick on you
9. People who are judgmental
10. Parents/people that ignore me because the think I’m too young.

Now this was not any high tech scientific survey, I merely asked 100 teens between the age of 13 and 18 for their answers to the question, “What pisses you off?” and after compiling the answers these were the top ten (out of 36). Except for number 8 and 10, I’d say these things tick me off too (for number 10 people ignore me now because I’m too old! and for number 8 I might substitute the word boss for teacher).

Based on how we as parents feel sometimes I was a little surprised by these findings. Hey our teenagers are real people after all! I was halfway expecting a list of things totally off the wall! But NO, wait a minute - They (our children) are not some sort of alien with problems that we just don’t understand! The plea of, “OMG, the world is just not what it used be!” just doesn’t seem to hold any water with this survey.

So what do we do when our teens seem out of sorts or angry and just wont talk? Start of by looking at them and in all sincerity say, “hey I know exactly how you feel”, because the chances are you do, and if that’s the end of the conversation for now - so be it. Our children need to know that they are NOT seen as aliens and that their mom and / or dad might really know something after all and really do have the capacity to understand.

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard

“I just want to help”. “Why don’t you let me help you?” “I know how you feel, let me help”. Have you ever said or felt these things? I know I have. But I’ve come to learn that we must be very careful when it comes to this. Codependency is not listed in the DSM (Diagnostic, and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as a personality disorder yet, but most mental health workers can and do recognize it as a symptom of dysfunction.

I believe the only reason codependency is not listed in the DSM is because so many psychologist, therapists and counselors today are either codependents or recovering codependents; how can someone love too much? And what kind of slippery slope are we treading on when we say that caring for another human being is a mental disorder?

The fact is codependency is just that – CO. It is not the same as Dependent personality disorder, which is listed in the DSM. It takes two people to make up codependency. It’s not a sin to care for someone, but it’s not all that healthy to think that we have all the answers for another. If we have a tendency to say or feel, “I told you so”, or “Why won’t he/she listen to me?” then perhaps we are beating a dead horse. The best way to truly care for someone is to help them help themselves.

Remember, “Give a man a fish; you’ve fed him for a day. Give the man the insight to go to the market and you’ve fed him for life” (something like that).

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard

It's true that I very rarely write on Sunday, but I would be remiss if I did not write something on this very special day.

In a time where awareness and gratitude are on the lips of so many we must not forget the women that gave us life, loved us first, and cared for always. Take the time today to, at the very least, think of your mother with gratitude and love. I realize that some wounds are very deep, but one day of loving gratitude is clearly not beyond any of us, and if for one day you can feel loving gratitude then you treat the wound just a little bit more.

To my own mother: I am deeply grateful for all that you do. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not be the man I am today. And since I love who I am, I am grateful to you. We may not always agree. We may not follow the same path to get to the exact same place, and there are times when we worry about each other perhaps more than we should. I want you to know that not one moment escapes me. From moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day, year to year, I am your grateful and loving son.

Love and Bright blessings ~ Richard